What is the one thing that keeps you from sitting down to write?
Maybe your first thought is my job, or my kids, or my responsibilities, or my hectic schedule. And all of this is valid.
But what about that Sunday afternoon, or that early morning hour; that time you actually set aside for writing, but didn’t do it? (We’ve all been there, I promise.) Let’s dig a little deeper.
The next layer of answers might revolve around the story itself. I’m stuck. I’m not sure where to go next. What I’ve written so far is garbage.
These thoughts are all about the story, or issues related to it. By thinking these things, we are essentially blaming the work itself, which makes no sense because it has no motivation other than to wait for us to engage with it.
Does that mean, then, we should blame ourselves? Of course not. Blame has no place here.
In fact, we need to be careful with the whole question - Why aren’t I writing? - because it verges on shaming ourselves, and that’s not useful either.
So let’s dig even deeper. If we’re saying I’m stuck or I’m not sure where to go next or it’s hard, we’re doubting our abilities to utilize the craft of writing. If we’re criticizing what we’ve already written or assuming we have nothing to say, then we’re doubting our abilities to communicate what is in our hearts.
We are doubting ourselves.
But what if I told you that self-doubt is part of the process, and it doesn’t need to keep you from writing?
Self-doubt is part of the process, and it doesn’t need to keep you from writing.
Imagine a small child. This child wants to try the monkey bars on the playground, but they’re saying the things you are saying to yourself. I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I’m afraid I will fall.
Would you berate that child? Shame them in front of their friends and family? Refuse to help them?
No.
You are not a person without compassion. You would not walk away and say, yep, you’re right, I don’t think you should bother. You would not fill up their time with everything but the thing they so desperately want to do.
You would encourage them. You would teach them how. You would help them take one swing at a time with your supportive arms at the ready. You would teach them to practice, to try again and again until they get across.
Self-doubt is normal, natural, and everyone experiences it. Everyone. EVERYONE.
Creative writing is exposing a tender part of ourselves, like displaying our darkest corners for all to see and judge. Of course we are scared. Of course we resist doing it, despite our desire and intention. Of course we are afraid of failure.
You can manage your self-doubt and write anyway.
Here’s how. It is a million times easier to say than to do…but it is the only way.
Relax. Listen for when those voices of doubt creep into your mind. When you find that you are procrastinating, listen to your self-talk. Rather than beat yourself up for being scared to put your heart on the page, find compassion for yourself. Allow it to be messy. Allow it to be hard. Just allow it all.
And then, find a few minutes to write. And then again. And again.
That’s all we can do. That’s how our stories get written.
Here’s a Pep Talk on procrastination. Listen now or bookmark it for when you need it most.
You and your stories are 100% worth the effort of managing your self-doubt. I promise.
Warmly,
Stephanie
I invite you to share your experiences with self-doubt here.
Remember: everyone experiences it. Everyone.