I’m having some trouble making myself go to the gym. This is not uncommon, I know, but it’s maddening.
I was never really an athlete. I did play soccer and basketball as a kid, in the way that I was signed up by my parents and dropped off at practice, looking most forward to the orange slices and granola bars at the end of each game. By middle school I was done.
After college I joined the YMCA and started taking aerobics classes, then dipped my toe into the weight room and cardio equipment. Going to the gym became part of my week, and it stayed so well into my 40s. I enjoyed being strong and active.
I also enjoyed pizza and cocktails, so going to the gym felt important in that other way, too.
Then a very difficult teaching year shattered my carefully crafted schedule and going to the gym was no longer a possible, let alone a priority. I was swept up into a when/then cycle of thinking. When it’s summer, then I’ll go. When I’m not so tired, then I’ll go. After a while I just dropped it.
Then the pandemic, of course, and I couldn’t have gone even if I wanted to. But it didn’t matter, because by this point my body had changed and softened and going to the gym felt like too big of a hill to bother with.
(Is the parallel to a writing practice clear? I hope so.)
I’ve had a new gym membership for about six months now. I thought about it for a long time because I wanted to make sure my intentions were true. Mostly it’s coming from a place of recognizing that I’m aging, and wanting to remain healthy for the back half. But I also recognize that vanity that still exists, the frustration I have with how my menopausal body has plans of its own. I have reasonable expectations: my body is not the same as it used to be, and I have to start slowly, gently. But I remember what it felt like to be strong, and I am impatient.
All of this aside, the reason I have trouble making myself go is because my mind makes noise at me every day. What’s the point? Why bother? It does so because I am still out of the habit. Even though I’ve paid for the gym, I haven’t all the way committed to the practice of going. Going once every two or three weeks isn’t enough consistency to create any real progress.
I’m talking about the gym because it’s what I’m currently dealing with, but the exact same patterns of thought happen around a writing practice. If you are having a hard time getting started and/or staying consistent, then this week’s Pep Talk is for you!
And yes, I hear myself. I will be applying these strategies to going to the gym. Because self-care includes everything that makes you feel good in the long run, whether it’s on a treadmill or in front of a computer.
Which of the four Cs do you struggle with the most? Which comes the most easily? Click the speech bubble and let me know!
In other news...
🧵 Thursday Thread: We talk a lot about where we love or prefer to write, but where have you written that surprised you? (This can be for the better or worse.) How did it affect your writing and/or your process? I can’t wait to hear! Click here to join the conversation! >>
📖 What I'm reading: For my whole life I’ve been a one-book-at-a-time reader. Suddenly, I’ve found myself jumping from book to book. What is happening?!
At night I read a novel (currently Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk, by Kathleen Rooney). At different points in the day, I’ll pick up a nonfiction title. I’m currently bouncing between the following:
An advance copy of I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America, by Rebecca Little and Colleen Long
The New Menopause, by Mary Claire Haver, MD
The Art of Brevity, by Grant Faulkner
Good News, Planet Earth! by Sam Bentley
📺 What I'm watching: Presumed Innocent (Apple TV), Evil (Netflix), Extraordinary (Hulu). Also rewatching Stranger Things with the kids in preparation for the eventual final season, when the teen characters will all be played by 40-year-olds.
🎧 What I'm listening to: I Have Some Questions for You, by Rebecca Makkai
What do you recommend? Click the speech bubble and let me know!
And now, a survey. What is the content you most wish to receive from me? This will take you less than one minute and your feedback helps me a great deal. Thank you in advance!
I wish you a delightful entry into August, my friends.
Warmly, Stephanie
P.S. I'll be here when you're ready.
P.P.S. Love this newsletter? Please share or forward to a friend!